The most perfect muslim is whose character is the best. And the best of you are they who are kindest to their wives . Mohammed (pbuh)

My dearies,

I do not claim to be a Fairy God Mother, just a little old woman whose wrinkling skin resembles the furrows on our good British soil. Serendipity introduced me to Khaver, (actually, being a woman of religion, I don’t believe in chance, it just sounded good!) She was quick to realise the grains of wisdom were ripe for harvesting and in her generosity offered a platform from where  I could share my gifts with you. To some, I am the bearer of glad tidings but to others I’m the wicked Witch of the East. In truth I’m just a little old lady who likes to be called Sister.
My late husband, Mr Knightley, may the good Lord rest his soul, would’ve been proud of me now.He was a good man ,a good man indeed. A truly rare breed. He taught me all I know especially-Knowledge is proud because of what he knows and Wisdom is humble because of what he doesn’t know.I must confess,however,being humble can become a rather formidable task when one is  an expert in such matters.Afterall, age and experience are on my side.

 After many years of listening to tales of countless unhappily ever afters,  I wish to impart my vast store of wisdom on such matters, so the future princes and princesses of this world may live happily ever after. Please stop day dreaming and pay attention. First things first, we would all like a Prince Charming or a perfect Princess. Unfortunately, very few of us come anywhere near it. We’ve all heard the old adage that beauty comes from within, well I completely agree.
What are little girls made of?
What are little girls made of, made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice
And all things nice,
That’s what little girls are made of.
What are little boys made of, made of?
What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails
And puppy dogs tails,
That’s what little boys are made of.
So you see ,all little girls are born princesses and should be treated as such the moment they are born. If brought up with utmost love and care they will naturally blossom from within.That’s the way Our Dear Lord intended it . Little boys on the other hand, are quite a different matter and in fact too many women agree to marry these frogs, frittering away their years waiting (with patience, I might add  imbibed through the trials of life.) for the frog to metamorphosise into a prince. Sadly, it rarely happens. The frog remains a frog. In some very unfortunate cases, with the passing of time, some transform into positively vile toads, of which there are many species inhabiting the world(From the African Goliath ,Skunk,Hyla Vasta to the Asian deluded by his own self importance variety). Here, I would like to stress we are referring to its inner state, on the outside this male remains deceptively unchanged except superficial ageing and weight gain. Life becomes monotonous for this delicate rose and so they live unhappily ever after.
Part of the problem lies with the well meaning mother, who when this little sprog enters the world, with  all her zeal and enthusiasm convinces herself and this half- baked creature ,that he was born a prince and will remain so throughout his life, no matter what his conduct.NOT TRUE .By the same token when his little sister arrives in the world she becomes this tadpole’s maid -servant losing her radiance ,all the while he becomes slimier and slimier. Of course the mother can only see him through tinted specs and continues over-indulging him, making it harder and harder for the prince to escape . Dear mothers, this is a recipe for disaster.
Now we come to the root of the problem :
Simple Simon
Simple Simon met a Pie Man,
Going to the fair;
Said Simple Simon to the Pie Man,
“Let me taste your ware”
Said the Pie Man to Simple Simon,
“Show me first your penny”
Said Simple Simon to the Pie Man,
“Indeed I haven’t any.”
You see ,he has been taught that the world is his right, that he can have all and give nothing. When it comes to choosing a mate he only thinks of what she has to offer, completely deluded of his own self- worth. Dear frogs and toads, again I bear glad tidings – Stop blaming your mothers, the  Lord Almighty  blessed you (and us) with a BRAIN and CHOICE  in all matters.This brain when switched on is far,far more advanced than the television and computer screens you gravitate towards like complete Airheads! So  stop Simple Simoning and take control of your pathetic selves. It is not the position of the King of the Castle that you deserve but a lonely remote place in a stinky swamp.
Incidently ,not that I succumb to The Television but  if the poor mutants called X-Men ,are forced from society simply because their powers are misunderstood, even though the mutation is not of their own doing, then there is only one choice.For world peace and prosperity, all  toads and latent princes (those that CHOOSE to remain frogs) should be banished to the bog of no return!!!!!!!

phheeewww...I must go and get myself a drink...

My dear Mr Knightley would not be pleased with that outburst .Bless him,he was always so patient.The noble prince trapped inside this wretched creature needs to be released and trust me, it can if you follow my excellent advice.Before going to bed,start with slowly inhaling and exhaling three times...Close your eyes and imagine a crown on your head...Now repeat the following words seven times for a week.......

I can dream all I like,

If my conduct changeth not,

The dream remaineth a dream.

The choice is mine.

The Castle or the Bog!

GOOD LUCK!